WikiLeaks: the truth is out there you idiots…

It’s a bit darn suspicious that Julian Assange, aka The Truth Giver and founder of WikiLeaks, has been banged up and accused of rape, isn’t it? It’s just emerged that both of his accusers are young Swedish women who came into contact with him during a visit to Sweden on behalf of WikiLeaks. Apparently they had it off and then worried about it, and decided to track him down and persuade him to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases. But being quite a paranoid fella (ABOUT OTHER THINGS YOU IDIOTS), he turned his phone off. And now of course… well, any excuse will do.

I’m not normally so incensed by things I read when I wake up in the morning, but seriously, it’s got “dig something up to keep him quiet” written all over it, hasn’t it? It’s not exactly a case for Mulder and Scully.

Regarding one of these so-called rape allegations, the coverage even states that “People who saw Assange and the woman in the days after this incident is said to have occurred said the two displayed little if any obvious sign of tension or hostility”. So… they were still hanging out after he had his wicked way without her consent, were they? Still going for coffee together in Starbucks and playing footsie on the floor crumbs, as he revealed how he also planned to squeeze the innocence out of every government official in the United States of America?

How long to do you think it’ll be before we read a series of emails detailing the plan to accuse him of such crimes in the public eye, as a result of him spilling much bigger beans? Assange probably planned for this day himself and already has a hacker on the case in his defense, haha! You go Julian! I bet police and government officials are bricking their pants and deleting emails as fast as they can send them right now: “If I send it to trash, will it really go to trash, or will it go somewhere else? GODDAMIT WIKILEAKS, you’re making me PARANOID!!!!”

This is all stupid. What a stupid fricking world. Besides, Do you really think he had TIME to go round assaulting women when he had over 251,287 leaked United States embassy cables to wade through? He’s not exactly got a massive team you know, and they’re not even being paid. They’re more like interns. I know as an unpaid intern I wasn’t exactly thorough with everything I did. Poor Julian was probably pulling 23 hour days checking off facts with a red pen and still watching the door in case he got busted. I’m pretty sure raping innocent Swedes wasn’t on his agenda.

Somehow I think he may have had an inkling that if he wanted girls to like him, he only had to wait till he’d thrust such hidden truths upon the world. He’s everyone’s superhero now!

I can’t wait to read what else he’s got in store for us. And like my friend Sara wrote on facebook this morning “I can’t wait for WikiLeaks the movie!” I’m especially excited to learn what he’s got in store for us regarding unreleased documents about UFOs. Now that IS a case for Mulder and Scully.