So I found out a gun show was taking place in Denver last weekend and seeing as I’ve never been to one (and will probably never go to one again) I went along. My friend rather wanted to buy a gun, and the first lesson I learnt was that you need the right State license to do so. Unless you live in Colorado, you can’t buy a gun here. Sadly he has to wait until he gets back to Texas to buy his… which probably won’t be a problem.
The gun show was a lot like you’re probably imagining, with perhaps a few more enticing Christmas gifts than I was expecting. How ’bout a spring assisted knife for little Billy?
A bat-a-rang for little Mary-Jane? She’s five now, so don’t forget the cute bow on top. Either that, or a switchblade with a Playboy bunny on it. Either would do…
For mom when she’s out collecting eggs and can’t risk the newborn getting nicked or stabbed, or worse, gassed, while her back is turned…
Got the perfect idea for earth-conscious cousin Teddy out on the ranch…
And you wouldn’t want your kid to feel left out. Get him involved why don’t you?!
This guy proudly informed me he shot a squirrel into a million tiny pieces last week with this BB gun…
I dread to think what he’s planning to do to those bears.
There were a lot of things like this on display…
But most of the people were nice enough, once I asked enough questions and appeared interested. Which I WAS.
“It’s a toy right?” I asked that man down there, leaning over the skull-painted SKS.
“Yeah… you know… bang bang, you’re DEAD! Hahahahaaa….”
“It’s not a toy, darlin'”
“…Hahahahaaaa… oh, wait. Really? Why is it painted like a He Man prop? Why would anyone want a skull painted SKS? What’s it for?”
In fact, I asked several people at this gun show what these weapons should be used for and aside from the mad squirrel man with the BB gun who clearly couldn’t wait to go home and blast whatever he found snuffling round his garden, no one could tell me. Most avoided the question and asked instead where my accent was from:
“Say, you don’t sound like you’re from around here…” *eyes Becky suspiciously whilst polishing a weapon.
So yeah. That was an interesting experience. I bought myself some pepper spray in case of an emergency (I was assured that there WOULD be an emergency and I was afraid not to buy something from the man with the guns) and then I promptly made my exit. Yes. I left, not so much with a bang but with a gentle but speedy shuffle away from the scary people.