Bad Justin Bieber and the even WORSE trousers… (a rant)


What is this boy wearing? I’m sorry… maybe this makes me sound old, but when I was Justin Bieber’s age I certainly didn’t go for boys who looked like they forgot to pull their trousers back up after they went to the loo. Do today’s female teens find this appealing?

Do they? Justin  even LOOKS constipated here, don’t you think? He can’t even stand up on his own. And that other kid, Lil’ Twist… (that name warrants a whole other blog post quite frankly)… is he advocating finger amputations or is that just what cool people do nowadays?

Honestly, when I look at Justin’s trousers here I think, no wonder you’re currently spitting on people from balconies and getting into fights in bars. It’s not because you’re a spoilt, pampered brat with a leopard print sports car, who no longer has any concept of how regular people are supposed to interact with the rest of humanity, it’s because you’re uncomfortable waddling about like a penguin.

You poor poppet. It’s a cry for help, isn’t it?

God… I do sound old don’t I? But seriously, These are magazine idols? These are the people we make all fresh-faced and then promote as people we should look up to and admire? He looks like butter wouldn’t melt here:


But thanks to the Internet, we know he mostly looks like this:


AND he wears terrible trousers. I mean… why he has millions of fans is beyond me. He spits on them and they STILL love him. Maybe that was the joke he had with his mates when he did it: “Hey, I can spit on them and they’ll still worship me, look!” I can wear these stupid trousers and they’ll still buy all my albums, look!

Who’s the joke on, really?

Anyway… what happened to nice boys, like the ones who graced teen magazine covers when I was young and impressionable and looking for a boyfriend in well-fitted trousers? Look at Phillip here, in 1989:


Now that’s my kind of magazine cover. He wasn’t sticking any pretend-amputated fingers up anywhere… well, except up his puppet, Gordon the Gopher. But look how wholesome and jolly he looks. You can’t even see any flesh, his collar’s so frickin’ high. I bet he never spat on his fans. But mind you, we didn’t have the Internet back then, so who knows what Phillip was up to behind the scenes. I bet that gopher would have some stories, if he could speak.

I miss the days when teen idols were normal, and I’m not even a teen. I shouldn’t even care. But when I open my newsfeeds and am forced to see them all spiralling downhill in such fashions… or non-fashions in the case of Justin’s trousers I just get quite sad.

Bring back Phillip!