CAK and the wonders of foreign mail…

Got a letter this morning from a Dutch company called CAK regarding health insurance.

I thought my eyes were deceiving me… or perhaps I’m just incredibly immature but I opened Urban Dictionary and… yes:

CAK = slang for penis. ie. “my cak is hanging out of my pants.”

Or, if you want another definition,

CAK = Short for ‘Crunk Ass Kid’
ie “Did you just see what CAK did? That Coy is the crunkest of all the kids I know.”


Now… I’m sure it means something nicer in Dutch as this lady here on their website is apparently CAK’s ambassador and she looks cheery. Or maybe it doesn’t and this is why she looks cheery. I’ll have to click on MY CAK to find out.

The irony of this however does not escape me, as while I’m scrambling through my mail, trying to make sense of seemingly important documents in a foreign language, and resorting to Urban Dictionary in a vain attempt at locating humour in a dire situation, this very morning I discovered that two more of my friends are learning Dutch, and will thus be out of the ‘fun circle’ while they sit in brightly lit classrooms phlegmming up their vowels like dying camels.

I really should learn Dutch. I mean, I’ve lived here 18 months. I just don’t like the thought of sounding like a dying camel.

But it would be nice to be able to read my mail. And talk to handsome Dutch men. And ask for a wheel of Gouda in the right language.

Dutch is hard though, isn’t it. And I am lazy. And I write all day in English… and everyone here speaks English… which makes me everything that is awful and wrong about a foreigner living in a foreign place. I KNOW THIS. So before you write and tell me so, yes, OK I already know.

CAK has inspired me, in one way or another. See you when I’m fluent in dying camel. x