And that was it. So soothing were his words. So mesmerising was his voice.
For some reason that song, “will you go to sleep before I do,” popped back into my head last night. I stopped to ponder why. Was it, perhaps, because I was scribbling way too late into the night, still hyped from the day’s coffee, propelled by the endless list of things I still had to do? Was it, perhaps, because even at thirty-four years of age I still can’t get the comforts of a teddy bear’s presence out of my restless subconscious mind?
No. None of that. It’s because Teddy Ruxpin is EVIL.
Seriously. When I looked him up on YouTube to see what he’d been up to, this is what I found. He’s still singing his same soothing song, but now the hands of time have turned him into some sick geriatric, stationary spirit stuck in a toy’s stuffing. It’s almost as though he wants me to go to sleep so he can stab me in the back as I’m dancing through my dreams.
Why did I not see this before?
Because I was an innocent child back then, obviously. And now I am bent, sick, twisted and really need to stop over-analysing the actions of battery operated soft toys.
It’s not your fault Teddy Ruxpin. But please don’t kill me.