Sick with a sore throat and sniffles – the result of clutching one too many grubby tube poles back here in London me-thinks – I was taken on a surprise dinner date tonight. I knew nothing of where we were headed until we got there. And then I practically threw up in excitement.
A fucking CHEESE RESTAURANT in London.
A restaurant that serves only cheese.
Only in my wildest dreams does such a thing exist… or, it did, until we got to L’ Art du Fromage near Fulham Broadway. It’s real, I tell you. And it smells as good as it sounds. The restaurant is pretty tiny, and this gargantuan cheese counter is the first thing you see when you walk in:
Anyway, we sat down at a table next to some books about cheese (naturally) and a big wine barrel, and there I was, sniffling away, coughing that tickly little back-of-the-throat cough thing that drives you up the wall. It was not my finest hour. I’ve been on the Strepsils all day. But they presented us with those little parcels up there, filled with wild mushroom and Emmental and I was feeling better already.
For dinner, we ordered the four cheese fondue, or more specifically, Fondue Savoyarde: Comte, Emmental and Beaufort fondue, flambeed in Kirsch, with a side of meat charcuterie, tiny pickled onions and gherkins. My woes were instantly forgotten. Instantly.
As soon as this baby turned up and the waiter started pouring that Kirsch shiz all over our pot of perfection I had no itchy throat, no cough to splutter at, at all.
I even forgot to blow my nose as I jabbed bits of crusty baguette in a pot of melted cheese so good we joked that, should I ever become a millionaire, I will buy a house with a hot tub, fill it with the EXACT same cheese and sit in it every night feeling smug. I frickin BETTER become a millionaire because I’m planning this already. I think I’m gonna put it in my Care Bears Shrine Room…
I might even employ the hot young French waiter who served us to dip things in it as I lounge, surrounded by gherkins (and Care Bears).
Art du Fondue cured me of my cold. Cheese therapy is real, I tell you. Thank you Julien Ledogar for running such a marvelous establishment. I shall be back, when I’ve burnt off this first lost. I swear I just put on about three stone in one night…