Friday follows Thursday! (er, thanks Rebecca Black)…

I wonder how many people’s dreams the song “Friday” by Rebecca Black has been haunting this week. I watched it again, like, four or five times yesterday, just to convince myself that it was actually real and as such, I have contributed to its success. It’s the ultimate paradox. The more haters it attracts, the more attention it gets, the more people talk about it, the more people buy it and the more Simon Cowell thinks about signing her, seeing only a giant warbling moneybag where her spotty teenage face should be.

The song is now up to over 18 million hits on You Tube, which is amazing by anyone’s standards! The best thing though, is that Rebecca Black didn’t even write it herself. It was written by two other people. Yes, TWO. It took two people to write the lyrics: “Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday. Today it is Friday, Friday (Partyin).We-we-we so excited.”

These two people, called Clarence Jey and Patrice Wilson, are apparently fully functioning adults. They are not two year olds who state the obvious and ridiculous, like “gotta have my cereal” as they drool and wheel toy trucks around the kitchen floor and up their mother’s skirts. They are grown ups with a company they created themselves. It’s a company called the ARK Music Factory that charges $2,000 a pop for teens with rich parents to make their own music videos.

ARK Music gave Rebecca Black two songs to choose from when she tottered through their doors reeking of Clearasil and jingling with spare pocket money. She decided on “Friday”. Clarence and Patrice must have been so glad that the five minutes they spent huddling over their notepad with a crayon paid off.

Actually it’s unclear whether the song was written as a piss take… I’ve gone as far as thinking they might have penned this piece of shit on purpose and set the poor girl up as a guinea pig, just to see what would happen. What do you think? Even though the song has achieved ridicule the world over, it’s a frickin’ fabulous example of the powers of social media, isn’t it? I mean, as I’ve said before, me and my friends had some wonderful songs at school, with lyrics that were semi decent (some of them). We could have worked miracles with YouTube back then, back when we thought they were actually good and had the confidence to try and convince the world of the same thing.

We never had a black rapper though.

I bet Rebecca Black had to beg mum and dad for that black rapper. He probably cost extra… with that car and everything. Those guys don’t come cheap. I imagine the $2,000 package Rebecca Black must have signed up for looked something like this:

• Lyrics: $2

• Music: $8

• Auto Tune: $990

• Black Rapper: $1000

Hmmm… yeah we probably would have had trouble finding a black rapper in Spalding to help us. That would have been our downfall. Anyway, like the rest of the world I’m sincerely looking forward to seeing what Rebecca Black comes up with next. Maybe she’ll have the confidence to pen her own lyrics next time. The irony is, as soon as someone signs her and lets her do something decent, no one will give a shit.

Here’s my favourite parody out of the zillions that have emerged: “Saturday”. Brilliant!