Today I read yet another astounding addition to the literary world, courtesy of the Daily Mail, in the form of this sentence: “Baring all as she stripped off in a tasteful naked shoot, the 31-year-old singer was defiant as she vowed she would never fail her sons, Josh, 11, Harry, eight, and Alfie, three, despite struggling to come to terms with her marriage being over.”
There are several things wrong with this.
The first is obviously a woman posing nude whilst talking about the fact that she’ll never fail her sons. Because her sons will LOVE the way their mum is posing nude and talking about them. Especially the 11-year-old.
The second is the word ‘tasteful’.
The third is the fact that she’s struggling to come to terms with her marriage being over and someone has asked her what she’s planning to do to cheer up her three sons. And instead of saying “I shall take them to Disney World at once”, she has said “I will take them to Disney World and then I will take my clothes off for a newspaper and make everyone talk about us more.”
Of course this gem of journalism was in the Daily Mail, so whichever poor, underpaid intern deluded enough to believe they’re working the greatest job in the media put this piece together, undoubtedly failed to see the irony under their nose. They probably wrote the headline too, which was:
‘I’ve failed as a wife, but I’ll never fail as a mother’: Natasha Hamilton opens up on her marital split as she bares all in nude shoot’
If like me you have no clue who Natasha Hamilton is, she used to be in a girl band and… well that’s about it. And now she’s in some naked photos… making her family hate her.
I’m looking forward to more top news stories from the UK, later this month.