How to (pretend to) buy a suit in Bangkok…

IMG_5509“You don’t have to buy. Just stay five minutes. No less than five minutes. Not three or four… but five. Maybe six minutes, just to be sure,” urged Som, our tuk tuk driver en route to a tailor business, from which he gets perks for dropping off tourists. “Yes, six is good. If you stay less than five minutes I not get gasoline for tuk tuk,” he continued with sad eyes. Not wanting our lovely driver to run out of gas in the middle of the road we agreed to act interested in buying a suit from Raj here at Ram Fashion – for people who deserve the best.

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Raj reeeeeeally wanted to sell Noah a suit. In fact, there has never been a man so intent on selling anything as Raj from Ram Fashion. He showered us with catalogues, pulled out reams of material and even offered us some free beers. Clearly Raj knows that drunk people are loose. Drunk people buy suits.

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With some restraint we refused the beers, in spite of it being Songkran here in Bangkok, (the new year’s festival during which everyone gets wet and wankered) and instead nodded, ummed and aahed as Raj promised Noah he would soon be looking just like Ed Westwick from Gossip Girl in a suit jacket of his own creation.

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Raj was very convincing. What man doesn’t want to look like Ed Westwick? Even without the beer it wasn’t long before Noah was in front of the mirror in a half-made jacket with no sleeves, envisioning the final item in all its TV-star-worthy splendour. As you can see, it also works with board shorts.

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“Just a little bit here, and some zips there, and perhaps you’d like two jackets instead of one… I give you good price…”

Raj was not letting us off lightly.

“Ed Westwick is good. Perhaps you also want suit like David Beckham? Look, I show you same with sleeves…”

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Raj was a great sport. And the jacket did look good with sleeves. And he promised he would start the sewing as soon as we left his store, to ensure that Noah would be looking like Ed Westwick by Sunday. It was very tempting. Hell… we were no longer even acting.

However…

After staying roughly 55 minutes more than we’d agreed to and no doubt ensuring Som gets a month’s worth of free gasoline for his tuk tuk we managed to escape Raj’s grip without a suit-jacket, and with only a small guilt trip to help us remember him by. Having politely declined Som’s invitation to take us to his friend’s jewellery shop (perhaps to keep him supplied with shampoo or toilet paper?) we left the Chang beers for more tourists to enjoy while we went to a temple to look a Buddha. And this cat…

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Gotta love Bangkok.

If you too want to look like Ed Westwick, or just get a suit tailor made in Bangkok, don’t hesitate to contact Raj at Ram Fashion – for people who deserve the best.