Hunger Games theme park, you say? How do I write a book they’ll make a theme park for?

Screen Shot 2014-08-24 at 13.05.15The first time I ever remember being in some kind of theme park version of a book or movie was when I lined up with my mom, dad and brother for the E.T ride at Universal Studios. I remember the way the line led us through some kind of forest that actually smelled like pine needles. I don’t remember the ride. I just remember the pine needles.

All this talk now about a Hunger Games Theme Park makes me wonder just what exactly will be flying up our nostrils when we line up for things here? Daggers? Tracker Jackers? If the smell of a few pine needles has stayed with me all these years, imagine what the sighting of an innocent teen being massacred by a pack of robotic dogs would do to the impressionable mind of a kid who just showed up for the cotton candy and a photo with a man dressed as a mouse.

To quote this article:

“MTV News created a hilarious list of things they definitely do not want to see in The Hunger Games Theme Park. These include things like a District 13 Playground and park employees dressed as District Police. Nevermind a Hunger Games ride where kids have to kill each other. Oh, the lawsuits!”


The Hunger Games Theme Park is being planned by Lionsgate, who own the rights to The Hunger Games series. There will also be a mobile game for the films and a traveling museum, although what will be in that museum, we can only guess: blood in vials. Severed limbs in glass cases? Or is that just the theme park’s gift shop?

We’ve already seen the whole Harry Potter franchise explode in infinite direction, but cheeky wizards on broomsticks and a few talking goblins is one thing… killing children in an arena is quite another. I’m intrigued to see how anyone anticipates making “a fun family day out” out of something that, while clearly brilliant, is essentially quite dark and miserable. It’s pretty hard to turn this story on its head, at the end of the day, right?

Unless of course the park becomes a metaphor itself for the kind of world we COULD live in, if we don’t all buck up and start treating each other as equals. They’ll take kids there on school excursions to show them what might happen if they don’t stop Snapchatting their teacher’s asses and get back to work on making the world a better place.

This means choosing one child at random at the gates upon entry, to take part in a fight to the death.

But seriously… what we as writers are now thinking is, how the hell do we write a book that will one day become a theme park? How many people do we have to blow up/torture? How many crazy non-existent words do we have to make up as we point a magic wand, Harry Potter style? I’m struggling here.

I may just have to go back to what was the start of it all for me – the pine needles. Yes. I shall write a book around pine needles and go from there.