I can’t wait to never see this movie…

lost_poster-1I kept seeing posters all over the tube this morning for the new Robert Redford movie. All that I could make out as the train flashed past were the words ‘All Is Lost’ and a picture of his crumpled face. For some reason (quite possibly because I am still tremendously jet lagged and even a snail sneezing would piss me off right now) this made me angry.

Don’t tell us ‘All is Lost.’ If I really think ‘All is Lost’ why would I bother seeing this movie? He is obviously going to die. Which is depressing. And if he isn’t going to die in this movie, then all is still lost because quite frankly a seventy-year-old man on his own in the middle of a storm, being bombarded by sharknadoes or whatever the hell happens in a sudden influx of oceanic disasters is not going to survive. And all is lost with the movie industry if they expect us to believe he would.

For god’s sake, just… just…. no.