Jumping spiders, you say? Why it’s a bad idea to research the Amazon…

I’m going to the Amazon rainforest tonight… just for a long weekend, as you do. The Cuyabeno Lodge looks nice (even though they don’t have WiFi and there’s no electricity at night, tut, what’s wrong with this jungle?) but in spite of buying mozzie spray, new intrepid shoes (which didn’t do me much good yesterday, see previous post) and getting my fringe trimmed, there’s absolutely nothing more I can do to prepare myself for this:


Research tells me approximately 3,600 species of spiders are known to inhabit the Amazon basin. There are also more than 500 known species of jumping spider living in the rainforest canopy. Did you hear that? JUMPING. They jump. They jump at your head if you don’t wash your hair and they think you’re a tree. Jesus.

Another site tells me that ninety percent of the creatures and critters residing in the Amazon are insects, millipedes, centipedes and spiders. So it’s unlikely I’ll be going my four-day stay without encountering at least one tarantula.

Put your earplugs in folks, because no matter where you are in the world, you are going to hear me scream when I see one.