Awwwww it’s not their fault. But really, if you’re gonna wear a headpiece that looks like a toilet bowel, you’re going to have to face the consequences. Beatrice has been copping it for that hideous beige atrocity since Friday and I have to say, whatever I could write about it would NEVER say as much as this blog.
Apparently, an insider said: “There is a lot of competition within the family to out-dress each other… And nothing draws more attention to you than an elaborate hat. I guarantee you that a lot of time, thought and money went into selecting these works of art. Nothing happens by chance in that family!”
Jesus. Imagine. She actually spent time thinking about it. That makes it even worse! Most of us are thinking about the tornadoes in the U.S, the earthquakes in Japan, the price of coffee in Sydney ($4.50 is what I paid this morning, for a TAKE AWAY LATTE! I mean… really?) But Beatrice was thinking “Golly gosh, this fascinator is fascinating. Is it a hat? Is it a cat-flap? Is it a weapon with which to battle creatures from the abyss? Mummy… do tell me, if I wear such a piece, will they put me in Vogue?”
No wonder everyone’s comparing them to the villainous Disney stepsisters. How dare they try and steal the limelight from lovely Kate? Luckily, Pippa Middleton outshone them in no hat at all. She didn’t even need a hat! Everyone was looking at her ass.
It wouldn’t surprise me if Harry ditches Chelsy once and for all and tries his luck with Pippa. I know he’s (sort of) Will’s brother, which sort of makes her family… and it’s sort of wrong to hit on your family, but, well, I’m sure if he wanted to try and prove he wasn’t really Will’s brother, the royal family could make allowances, don’t you think?