Malaysian Airlines plane taken by aliens…

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I’m just going to come out and say it. Because ya’ll KNOW you’re thinking it too. Aliens are coming, and they’re starting off by stealing our planes. From the sky.

There is literally no other explanation for the missing Malaysia Airlines flight MH370. Look, they’ve covered every other possibility. And if there were terrorists on board, like they suspect there were, terrorists are not magicians. Planes don’t just disappear under a big cloak as someone says abracadabra to a pilot, do they? They’re really big.

There have been reports that debris were found off the Vietnamese island of Tho Chu but nothing’s been confirmed yet. Some relatives of missing victims are accusing the authorities of withholding information.

The telegraph says: “So when flight MH370 disappeared from plane tracking websites, it could mean the signals from the plane’s transponder were stopped deliberately (by pilots or others), or there was a complete electrical failure, or the plane disintegrated.”

Wait, wait, waaaaaait, go back there a second. OTHERS?!? 

Aliens are famous for making this stuff happen. They mess with time. Just ask Mulder up there – he knows. They can suck things through wormholes and take human form… like the two mysterious male passengers on board/aka alien hijackers, obviously.

Someone out there knows this, and someone in Area 51 or the depths of Antarctica is freaking out right now (probably in a bunker wearing seal fur lined boots and smoking pot) because soon everyone will know what they’ve been hiding.

Live it up on earth while you can, friends. They’re coming.