Rio Carnival versus Spalding Flower Parade…

Now. The 2013 Rio Carnival has been insaaaaaane, yes, but I couldn’t help compare it to my beloved Spalding Flower Parade, which happens every year in the town I grew up in, in England. This parade features vast amounts of tulips, which are grown in the local area and everyone acts very wholesome and demure as they sit on big floats covered in flowers, waving. It’s fucking FUN, I’m telling you.

So, Rio… well. The Sambadrome was something else entirely. Check out the moment a giant floating woman crashed into a row of photographers and TV cameramen…

Yikes. There was a fire at one point, and a bit of fainting too apparently. It was really hot in there. Definitely not the same as falling over on the grass drunk outside the Poacher at the age of 14 while a Lincolnshire tractor covered in petals rolled past. The Spalding Flower Parade was a risky affair, don’t get me wrong, but there are a few differences in the scale of things when compared to Brazil. And probably budget, too. Let’s study this. Here’s Rio again:

And here’s Spalding:

Let’s look at that again. Here’s Rio:

And here’s Spalding:

Now, some people might not be able to tell the difference. Those costumes are pretty fucking awesome, I think we can all agree, especially the pig. That pig right there took someone HOURS of stitching, and it was probably a little old, half-blind lady who made it too, after she had such success with the elephant. I mean, that elephant is in a league of its own. If I saw that elephant I would hug its head until its tusks fell off… which would probably take all of two seconds.

Ah Spalding. Ah Rio. I can’t decide which celebration I prefer!