The difference a motorised bike makes…

I miss my bike in Bali so much that today I actually hovered outside someone's house in South Harrow contemplating whether I could justify spending £450 on this ex-pizza delivery bike... Admittedly, it's a little different to my Bali one. The setting was a little different, too... Ah Bali, I miss you. I miss your transport. Sniff, sniff. I'm heading off for a new adventure soon - Nashville, Tennessee baby! I'm not sure I'll have a bike there, or any mode...Read More

Things I’ll miss about Bali, part 2: (warning, laser beams are included)

Of course I'll miss my trusty steed here - my Scoopy, which may have had a clapped out wing mirror and rust in the most unspeakable of places, but still sped me from A to B in stylish safety throughout my time in Ubud (for about $35 a month including gas). I'll also miss my laundry coming back in a vacuum sealed bag (nothing like a bit of suction to make your pants seem smaller) and smelling of a freshly...Read More

Getting a wisdom tooth removed in Bali (at the Sayan Aesthetic Institute) and surviving to tell the tale…

I don't know about you but when I think of getting any kind of medical procedure done anywhere outside of my home country I immediately enter panic mode and imagine the worst case scenario, which in the case of dentistry would be some dodgy backstreet guy tying a rope around my tooth, strapping the other end to the back of a rusty old car and driving till it popped from its socket. Living in Bali I thought nothing of getting...Read More

Being a writer, and why it’s never normal…

Whenever I book a plane ticket now I rarely think about booking a return. It's not that I don't like London, my country, or my people, it's just that, well... after trying and failing to feel like I fit in, I have come to the conclusion that maybe I just don't fit in anywhere. Maybe I'm just not normal. And being not-normal in my homeland seems scarier somehow that being not-normal somewhere else. I don't think I'm alone. I think there...Read More

GMO-NO!!! You are what you eat, so you’re becoming a genetically modified robot…

Recently I’ve been freaking out about what goes into our food. Cancer, obesity and infertility are all on the rise year by year. 90 percent of all corn, cotton and soy grown in the U.S is genetically modified… arrrgh! What doesn't kill you is supposed to make you stronger but even with a stash of healthy supplements that looks like that up there, in one of the "healthiest" towns in the entire world, I am still freaking out over how...Read More

Dinner and the black hole: is this the worst table design ever?…

Don't get me wrong, Clear Cafe is my favourite place for hippy watching and tucking into soul food in Ubud, but every time I come here I'm surprised all over again by their table designs. I keep meaning to blog about it so here it is, on record. Worst tables ever. I can't imagine how many people must drop things through these holes every day. How many plates and cups must just disappear before people's eyes... sucked into the vortex?...Read More

Worst hotels in Bali, ever. Where to avoid at all costs…

It's so depressing having to write this but I'm feeling quite upset and while I will always love Bali I will be avoiding the south at all costs after this. We tried to book nice places for our last few days but have had the worst experience of our whole trip in Uluwatu and Kuta, all because of general incompetence and bad attitudes, and I've gotta say it, cowboys. We paid $70 a night to say in the Noah Villa...Read More

Building adult sandcastles…

Today I made a duckarfish in the sand on Balangan beach. It's a cross between a duck and a starfish. I was proud of this creative project when I'd finished as I'd be very surprised if anyone has ever attempted, let alone succeeded in building a duckarfish in the sand here before, or maybe on any beach in the whole wide world. When I stood up and examined my work I realized that quite probably no one would understand my...Read More

Perils of the big Bali blackout…

I do admire how some parts of southeast Asia take the concept of pavements to an entirely new level. Bali is no exception. This crumbling, dilapidated array of concrete slabs are of course intended to help us walk about. Although, looking at them, you wouldn't be crazy to assume they're actually intended to help break and twist our limbs, thus getting us off the streets completely. They're especially fun at night, though. Just now, upon realizing the battery seemed to...Read More

Life on the Gili Islands (and a Papaya)

I popped my head above the water to see Papaya was still swimming furiously ahead of me, the orange tip of his snorkel a beacon against the vivid blue of the sky. I'd lost the coral reef ages ago and had been staring at sand on the bottom of the ocean for the past five or ten minutes through my cheap, leaky mask. 'I see turtles!' Papaya cried, waving frantically from his position in the deep. His excitement rippled across...Read More