The Cutlery Crusaders…

I just got a bit of a weird email delivered to my work inbox. Behold:


A rather embarrassing email to send you. Over the last 2 days, the cleaners fished out of the bins the following items:

  • 11 forks
  • 8 tea spoons
  • 12 spoons
  • 6 knives

I don’t know what to say……………………

This is the last email of this type.


General Manager

I thought I left this kind of behavior back in Dubai, where the lifestyle was so very decadent that the disposal of metallic cutlery was understandable… acceptable even: “More where that comes from”, “I have tons of knives and forks thanks to daddy’s silver emporium”, etc. Also, no one in Dubai did any washing up. We all had cleaners to do it for us. If my cleaner didn’t show up for some reason, well, maybe THEN I’d feel the urge to bin my dirty goods instead of tackle them with soap suds and my own fair hands. But the cleaners here come every day. Without fail. And even if they didn’t, it’s not like this filthy cutlery is cluttering up anyone’s home, making it smell bad, putting us off our evening TV shows or making us not want to have sex in the kitchen.


To know that people, in my very office here in Sydney, are chucking away these items… well. It’s not surprising the manager doesn’t know what to say.

It’s not me, by the way. Can I just say, I have never thrown a piece of metal cutlery in the bin (in Australia). Mainly because I don’t use real cutlery, obviously. All my takeaway food comes with its own plastic cutting and stabbing devices, so I’ve no need.

Whoever it is must be feeling really guilty though.

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