The night Emma Watson stole my toothbrush…

Screen Shot 2015-01-08 at 09.44.29WARNING!!! I feel like I should say something. I’ve been quiet for way too long… almost an hour actually, but about an hour ago I accidentally started watching a movie called The Bling Ring, which appeared to be about some children – including Emma Watson – who broke into Paris Hilton’s house and wardrobe.

At first I thought maybe my brother had slipped some Magic Mushrooms into my shepherds pie because it was so, ugh, so…. well, Paris Hilton was in it! I mean Paris Hilton was actually in a movie about someone breaking into her house and stealing her shoes! It was like inception, a dream within a dream, multilayered yet pointless.

I was all out of whack, what dimension is this? I imagined someone making a movie about breaking into MY house and… I dunno, taking my toothbrush and I was like, holy fuck, that could happen. It freaked me out even more. What has the world become? Instead of giving a village in Africa nine million dollars to build some wells and teach some people to fish, someone could actually use that money to put cameras in my house and pay Emma Watson to take my toothbrush! 

And then I was like… well I don’t want fame then, if it ever decides to come, because then I would feel awful. I’d feel like a VERY bad human.

I would rather not have that and keep my toothbrush to myself and give the money to the village and keep Emma Watson out of my house. And I still don’t know if I’m on mushrooms but dear lord that movie has messed me up.

Please save yourselves. I love you.