The Spalding Flower Parade vs Nyepi…

I’m quite upset right now. Look at these vegetable-kids. I never got to be a pea! I never got to be a sodding carrot! Looking at my mum’s photos from this year’s Spalding Flower Parade from a safe distance, it looks as though the kids in the town where I grew up are having way more fun with it than they did when I lived there… although admittedly the carrot looks a bit bored.

Maybe the Spalding Flower Parade have got a bigger budget these days? They must have got new sponsors, because why else would a giant fuck-off Bertie Bassett be waving eerily at a township with a face made of tulips?

I’m slightly jealous.

Still, I suppose we did just have Nyepi here in Bali, during which we enjoyed a different sort of float. Like this:

You don’t see drippy vaginas in the Spalding Flower Parade very often. Well, I don’t think you do. I haven’t personally witnessed the event for about ten years and things may have changed. If not I think we can all safely assume that Bali is the only annual parade that encourages children to abandon vegetables and Liquorice Allsorts and patrol the streets instead with giant genitalia.

Unless Bertie’s hiding something in all those tulips.

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