My friend just posted this photo to Facebook of a breakfast she was served this morning on Vietnam Airlines flight VN 232 Saigon – Hanoi. As you can see, all is not right with it. There is NOTHING right about this breakfast.
First of all, what the hell is it? The last time I had an item this insidious in front of me was when I deposited a bout of food poisoning into a toilet bowl from my suffering intestines – only that had carrots in it as well as peas. The only way we can tell this is not puke, actually, is because there are no carrots in it. Puke ALWAYS has carrots in it.
Anyway, as if the sight of this monstrosity itself is not enough, there is also the horror of that hair right there, sitting ominously at the top. It’s a long one, too, right? Whoever grew that impressive beast could have a side job making pubic wigs… or rope ladders for ants and fairies.
Apparently my friend got to fill in a complaint form on the plane, which is nice, because we all know there’s nothing we love more than filling out forms on planes; fucking around looking for a pen, bashing your head on the tray table and seat in front of you, ticking boxes, scrambling for your ticket cos you can’t remember your flight number… god, yes, please, PLEASE give me another form so I can complain about a pubic hair in my breakfast. Awesome.
We don’t yet know if she’ll get a refund. Or a coupon for an edible breakfast. Or indeed a discount on an ant-and-fairy-rope ladder.
We do know she won’t be flying Vietnam Airlines for a while.