Tom Cruise: first religion, now Dubai…

Not only can he help coax millions of people into Scientology, but he can help coax millions of people into Dubai! Maybe. Well, that was clearly the thinking behind Sheikh Mohammed being kind enough to let Tom Cruise and his crew film the latest Mission Impossible movie in the world’s biggest abandoned construction site this month.

He’s gone now, having given Sheikh Mo the thoughtful departing gift of a director’s chair, not to mention a whole heap of awesome video footage on YouTube. Great publicity,… really, truly.  Nice one Sheikhypops. But you wouldn’t let Sarah Jessica Parker in with her lot, would you? Kim Cattrall would have given you more than a chair.

But that’s the point isn’t it, I guess. They were too sexy. They might have made women do naughty things. Those silly girls with their silly film all about sex. Naughty sexy people, bad film, NO. You are NOT coming in. But Tom, what’s he gonna do? He’s only gonna hang off the word’s tallest building on a little rope… no one’s going to be stupid enough to copy THAT. Are they?

Hmmm, well this is the thing. I’m not sure. There are plenty of rich boys out there with a bit too much time on their hands. They have helicopters too. They could easily get up there if they wanted to. I’m not sure you’ve thought this through, Mo. I haven’t had a job in a while and lemme tell you, it gets boring. Imagine if I’d never had a job EVER, but Daddy had bought me a whirling, spinning, flying mode of transport to play with…

I watched them build the Burj Khalifa from my bedroom window, not so long ago. It wasn’t so much a giant knitting needle piercing the sky back then, as it was a little pin, bursting through another hole. If I’d known Tom Cruise would eventually be hanging off the top I would’ve hurried them on a bit – they took bloody ages building that thing and I left before they finished it. But now it’s being used as a movie set, how exciting! It’s VERY exciting actually. But… it could get a lot of silly boys very excited too. A lot of silly, bored boys with big toys.

We’ll just see what happens. I’m hoping you won’t regret inviting Tom in, eventually, Mo,… like Oprah did.

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