What would you do if you saw a Goblin Shark?

Goblin sharking

I just saw this photo pop out at me from the Guardian’s website and straight away I thought it was a slide from a new horror film. I love horror films!

But no. This this is frickin’ REAL.

It’s a very rare Goblin Shark. Hardly any have been seen, but one was caught by a fisherman in Florida recently. Imagine his horror! Christ, I think I’d throw up. He said it was 18ft long.

Someone called HR Giger describes the Goblin Shark as looking like a kipper crossed with an ironing board. I think it looks more like an eel that’s been eaten by a shark, which has in turn been eaten by the Alien from Sigourney Weaver’s spaceship and pooped out again.