Sitting here on the couch on a Saturday morning, it has come to my attention that America has the best TV in the whole wide world! I’ve just been experimenting with something called the Shake Weight, which half the country has ordered as a result of a very sexy infomercial and now have sitting about their living rooms, gathering dust. It was just re-gifted to me, as Beth is looking to clear some space in her house.
The Shake Weight is kind of like a weight that vibrates as you shake it, working out your flabby upper arms as you stand, or sit, watching more crappy TV.
Sipping coffee (after my recommended six minute Shake Weight workout) we’ve just seen another outstanding infomercial for a product intended to calm dogs who suffer anxiety attacks during thunderstorms. YES, REALLY.
The Thundershirt is rescuing troubled dogs all over America. If YOUR dog gets nervous during a storm, order one today. It’s only $39.95. And if you order now it’ll arrive before the next storm, so you won’t have to cope with your precious puppy cowering nervously under your table in silence, instead of barking and jumping and drooling all over your Shake Weights.
There’s more. Not an informerical this time, but a new series called I Killed My BFF.
I Killed My BFF promises several thirty minute episodes featuring people killing their friends. Google isn’t digging up anything on this new show just yet, although we definitely just saw the teaser and wait with baited breath to discover exactly HOW an entire series will be crafted around this title. Obviously it isn’t terrible enough that there could be enough material to make one stand-alone documentary about someone killing their BFF. A series on the subject is just too exciting.
It would be great if the killer was a Shake Weight jiggling woman who, having wrapped her dog safely in a Thundershirt had adopted the animal’s fear of storms herself, taken on its absolute terror and bludgeoned her BFF about the head with the Shake Weight as she walked in with a bucket of KFC.
I fucking love America.