Why I hate copywriting…

I just got asked to ‘approve’ this paragraph as part of a brochure by a very well known Australian bank, who quite frankly should be ashamed of themselves:

“We’ll cover in accordance with the policy, the cost of any excess up to $5,500 which you become liable to pay in respect of loss or damage to a rental vehicle during the rental period as long as the vehicle is rented from a licensed rental agency and the hiring agreement incorporates the standard comprehensive insurance normally provided by the rental car company and you pay for the hire of the vehicle using your Credit Card.”

Jesus, ouch!!! What the HELL is it all about!? I can’t even make sense of it in order to edit it. I think it’s about car rental insurance but I’m not exactly sure as I can’t seem to read it without my brain bleeding from the absolute torture. It literally offends my eyeballs. “Who is responsible for this!?” I demanded, to which I received a blank look, a shrug and an apologetic “I don’t know. I think it was someone at the bank.”

I’m assuming whoever sat at their desk in this bank and constructed this HIDEOUS excuse of a sentence went to school. I’m assuming they know what a full stop looks like, and where it’s located on a keyboard. Unless of course they scribbled it on a piece of paper with a crayon and got their secretary to type it up, and wouldn’t listen when she tried to explain it was diabolical, preferring instead to rush back into the office they were given quite miraculously and order some more Play-Doh from eBay.

Perhaps they just want people to get all confused about rental insurance, so no one actually requests any. Perhaps it’s part of a scam by the bank in question and a host of car rental companies (gasp!!!) Who knows. But it hurts. It HURTS to see things like this. It really does.